Rou

It seems like a great name. Love in Action. I envision a nice retreat for young couples out in the mountains. Or crisp cool air blowing across a couple only beach on a nice tropical isle.

Sadly that is not this place. It’s a ‘camp’. As in concentration camp. This place is, in fact, a hellhole. A place designed by the most bigoted, and loathsome people. Solitary confinement and brainwashing. What could be the purpose of this horrible place? Well, this is a place for parents to send their children of course. To learn about the word and will of their Lord and Savior. Not just any children of course. Bad children. Naughty children. GAY CHILDREN.

That’s right, it’s a place where parents, who have no respect for their children, can send them to be ‘retrained’ to be straight. From the director of the camp, we get this pearl of wisdom I would rather you commit suicide than have you leave Love In Action wanting to return to the gay lifestyle. In a physical death you could still have a spiritual resurrection; whereas, returning to homosexuality you are yielding yourself to a spiritual death from which there is no recovery. There really are no words.

Now, the very IDEA of sending my kid to be reprogrammed is abhorrent to me. I have no idea what could possibly possess them.

Aside from all of that, the rules of this place are… well… special. I’m sure it’s easy to guess most of them. Must dress properly with girls in dresses, and men in button down shirts. Don’t be gay. That sort of thing. But then there are the extra special rules. For the first 3 or 4 days of the program, you are locked into a small room, forbidden from communicating with anyone except staff. Afterward, all of your communications will be monitored to ensure appropriateness (don’t be gay). Also, you are allowed one 15 minute period with the bathroom door closed for showering purposes. All other time in the bathroom, the door must be open.

But that’s just the rules for the ‘refuge client’. The rules for the parents are amazingly more ignorant. “Don¹t allow client to split your family. Unite to present stability and unity.” So… parents should form a nice wall to help ostracize the child further. Good idea. “Your client is not allowed to talk to anyone outside of your home including friends or family. Do not tell client who has called for them or who is asking about them. Keep the thoughts of the client focused on his/her treatment.” Another great idea. Cut them off from their support group!!! I suppose it does fit their purpose of doing enough mental damage to someone that they will agree to anything.

Now, you may wonder, how did this demonic camp come to my attention? Well, I followed a link to a blog. The link was innocent and unrelated. But the last three days of this blog consist of a 16 year old boy's terror story about his parents reaction to his coming out. They decided the right course to take was to tell him that they “raised him wrong” and that he was the “most irresponsible child” they had ever met. His last communication, dated the 3rd, indicated that he was supposed to start this camp on the 6th. But it appeared that he was considering other alternatives to get away from his parents before then.

“I just need this to be over”
“If I do come out straight I'll be so mentally unstable and depressed it wont matter”
“I ran away for a short while”.
“I've been through hell. I've been emotionally torn apart for three days... I can't remember which days they were.. time's not what it used to be.”

Yeah. I’m sure all this torture they are inflicting him is really helping him understand the kindness, understanding and compassion that Jesus taught.

I mean, what kind of sick fucks do this to their children? And do they even think of the consequences? This is a young kid, who will probably never, ever forgive them. In two years, he’ll move out, and they will probably never see him again. If my son was a mass murderer, I’d treat him better than this.

Bastard parents.. May they rot in a special private hell.

I don’t hate Macs. I hate Mac users. Let me be more specific even. I hate the religious cult of Mac.

You know them. They love their Macs. In some cases more than they love their children. And if that was it, I would consider it odd, but acceptable. If it works for you, that’s great.

What I hate is Joe Dip-shit who loves his Mac so much that he feels the need to not only tell me about it constantly, but to take every free moment he can to explain to me how great a Mac can be. Sometimes in what must be prepared speeches.

I mean, I get it. You like your Mac. And you’re an oppressed minority. But you evangelizing about it to me is not going to suddenly convert me. That crap may work on 85 year old grandmothers, but not me. I know what works for me. In fact, many of the things I use Windows for, Macs can not do. And many of the things I would like Mac for, I can do on my Linux box. However, I don't disrespect the Mac. It was worthy of scorn before, but recently, it's a decent product. Just not one I CHOOSE to use. You already know that because we've had this discussion twice a week for a year. So, shut the fuck up about it already.

Yes yes. You have iPod, iCalander, iCamera, iBedsheets and probably even iUnderwear. Good for you. I’m glad you’re a corporate whore. I’m sure they are much better than all other similar products because they put an i in front of their name. Very creative and all.

You like Macs. Good for you. Knock yourself out. I’ll even supply a brick to help you on your way.

Link: http://www.usmemorialday.org/audio/taps.wav

Today is a national day to remember. To remember the sacrifices so many had to make to get to where we are. To remember the thousands upon thousands of young men who never got to go home. Who never saw the end of the many wars.

Sadly, many people seem to regard this as a day to go out, fire up the BBQ, and have an extra day off work. Never once thinking about the real reason this day is special.

The men who died giving their lives for what they believed. Or sometimes for something they didn't believe in at all. Warriors who spent their last moment in agony, crying out for answers from God, or wishing their mother could make it all better. The men who came home with memories and visions that left a scar upon their psyche forever.

This day is for them. And I find it sad that many people never take so much as a moment to remember them with a raised glass or a simple moment of silence. This isn't a three day weekend commemorating summer. It's a day dedicated to all of our heroes. Take a moment and give them their due.

I hate the term “For the children”. No wait. That’s not exactly right. I hate the things that done in the name of those words.

I know, I know… it’s complicated. I’m asking parents to you know… be responsible for their children and all. You look at the movie rating. You see why it got the rating. You take a gander at movie reviews to see what critics said about it’s suitability for children. You make an informed choice. You decide. You. Not your Burger King Kids Meal.

There are many examples I could talk about. It seems like some people really want the government to make the world into a rubber foam world behind the battle cry of “Think of the Children”. I ask, as parents, why aren’t YOU thinking of the children? I’m watching my R rated movie (maybe even NC-17. ….. Ok I admit it, porn.). Or playing my M rated video game. Or buying my music with the explicit lyrics warning on it. You know: the stuff they suggest you do NOT get for your children? Instead of blindly swiping the credit card, how about you take the time to think about what you want your child to have?

And then, you have the nerve to demand that those games be not be sold in stores so your precious kids can’t get them. Well you know what, if your kid is buying shit that you don’t know about, maybe you need to watch your fucking kid a little better, hmm?

Come on people. The world is a tough place. And especially in this era, it’s explicit. And it IS tough to prevent your kids form being exposed to unwanted material. But you know what? It’s not your job to make MY life into a plush toy to protect your kids. It’s your job as a parent to prevent your children from getting access. Don’t want them to buy the game? Don’t give them money. Don’t want them to watch bad movies? V-Chip baby. You’ve got lots of options to help you out. So stay the hell out of my life, k?

“I’m the proud parent of a WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK!”

Today’s rant is another pet peeve of mine. No, it’s not the bumper sticker. Ok, kinda. It’s the shit head parent who thinks I give a fuck about some 8 year old brainiac. Or who feels the need to tell me about their little 5 year old who is playing Mozart by ear.

Now, I suppose I need to be careful in this rant. It’s a very fine line I walk. I think it’s perfectly healthy and normal for a parent to be proud of their child. And it’s very good to display that pride to the child. I’ll even go so far as to say that it’s good for a proud parent to discuss their child’s achievements with others.

No no, that is not my problem. It’s the people that feel the need to slip in a “My kid is better than your kid” comment every chance they get. Or who feel obligated to one up any child story they hear about.

“OMG My child has an IQ of 8127398173948!”
“Yeah, well mine never had to take the test. They look at her and bowed down in awe.”
“Mine built a life sized replica of the Eiffel Tower with one hand while composing Bach, singing Les Mis, and computing the atomic weight of a new periodic element she discovered. And she did it all by age 3.”
“Mine already reads Shakespeare and works with quantum physics while tap-dancing, and breaking the world record for the 100 yard dash. Next he’ll be sleeping through the nights!”

It kills me. Your child is great, and that is wonderful. I don’t care that much. If there is a relevant topic that your child accomplishment relates to, go for it, but don’t just walk over and decide I need to hear about you’re child’s super mega intelligence. This is made all the worse when the proud parent is a complete ninny. I mean, when Drooling Dave tells you his child’s smart, do you really think he’s a good judge of that? I mean, the child might have figured out how to close his mouth and that would be a big step up on old Dave, right?

On top of all that, you also get these wretched parents who feel the need to advertise their parental insecurities by putting up… “the bumper sticker”. If there is one thing I don’t understand, it’s that sticker. It’s supposed to convey the message “my kid is smart and I’m proud”. I would get that if most of the people that saw it knew your kid or cared. But they don’t. Most of the people that read it don’t know you or the damn kid. What that sticker says to me is “Look at me! My kid is better than yours, which means I’m better than you! Please worship me!” You’re not praising your child; you’re hoping people will recognize you as being a great parent.

But if you absolutely can’t resist talking about your soon-to-be-heroin-addict kids, don’t expect me to be impressed. When your kid cures cancer, call me. I’ll be suitably impressed then. Until then, shut the fuck up.

Ok, the rant I’ve been trying to do all day.

Intelligent Design. Specifically in our science classes.

I don’t get it. I really don’t. These religious fuck heads have the gall to demand that we tell our children fairy tales as a part of our curriculum.

They have taken the concept of creationism and tried to remake it into a science. They use scientific sounding words and they avoid specifying the Judeo-Christian god. Then they point to things that they perceive to be flaws in evolution and make broad claims that the entire foundation must therefore be unsubstantiated. And therefore the THEORY of evolution isn’t any better off than the concept of intelligent design. They always accent the word theory, not knowing or understanding how stupid it makes them sound.

Theory, does not mean that it’s a wild ass guess. It means someone took evidence and used it to support an idea. That idea was tested repeatedly, and has not been found to have any flaws yet. The reason why it’s a theory and not a law is that it’s not an absolute. We’re still working out the details. There are a lot of them to work out. But so far, so good.

Now, compare that to the other side. “We don’t understand it, but it’s certainly complicated. Must be God/Allah/aliens/George W’s fault. Nothing that complicated could be unplanned”. There is no proof. There is no evidence. There is nothing that says anything except that some people get bored and give up before they figure things out. The only thing intelligent designers seem to say is things they think prove evolution wrong.

Fine.. you want to believe it, go for it. I got no problem with a dumb fuck deciding to remain a dumb fuck. But you stupid dipshits keep it the fuck out of schools. It has no business being there unless you want to put it inside some ‘world religions’ class or something. There is no science involved.

However, beyond all that, there is a certain breed of people I have a special hatred for. School board administrators that give in to religious nuts (or are religious nuts themselves) and allow this shit to be a part of our school science program. I mean, do these people have no respect for the duties of their office? Or the fucking laws of our country? You know that part where school prayer is not allowed? That covers this bullshit too! Even worse, some teachers have blackened their names enough to stand up and support this. Amazing.

So, in many of our high schools, they are required to give credence to a belief that has nothing to support it. Not only that, but some of these wretched ass pirates have gone so far as to say “equal” credence. This means they have to spend as long on evolution as they do on ID. Well, pop quiz, ID is a sentence. There is nothing to discuss beyond the idiocy of this thing they call a theory. Evolution has reams of data to demonstrate it. There are experiments that students can do. There are historical aspects to cover. Tell me how to do any of that with ID? What experiment can demonstrate ID at work? Oh wait, it’s FUCKING BULLSHIT.

I hate people. Have I mentioned that?

Ah the wonderful world of the internet. So full of… well… the best word to describe them is fuck-nuggets.

Today’s subject is a forum poster who has decided his religious beliefs should somehow translate to how I live my life. Now, I won’t touch the topic at hand, because it’s a completely separate rant. Needless to say, he had moral conviction that his view was Right and Good and Just in the Lord. He even did the stupid capitalization of every 3rd word for effect.

Now, I’m all for people having religion. I got no problem with someone telling me about their beliefs in the context of a topical discussion. If we were to talk about adultery, I can respect someone that said “My religion tells me such and such is a sin in the book of Roulette 69:69”.

That is all fine and good. However, I draw the line at the next step of righteousness that spews forth. He proceeded to speak as if he knows the divine will of god, damning all heathens to hell, and insisting that we all bow down and acknowledge his religious beliefs as the one true belief.

Now, I know full well that this little punk ass bitch wouldn’t have the gall to say that sort of thing if he wasn’t hiding behind anonymity. People wouldn’t stand for that kind of behavior in real life. Even the well known Jehovah’s Witnesses stop when people tell them to go away. Ok, sometimes you need a bat to get them off the porch, but the point is; they go away.

Why do people act differently when they post on the internet? Why would you ever become a self righteous asshole to people that have no interest in your beliefs. I mean, when I tell someone what I believe, and they say ‘I don’t believe that’. I just say ‘its cool.’ And then the conversation has to move on to other topics.

I don’t act differently online. If you think I’m an asshole in my posts it’s because I’m an asshole. Likewise if you think I’m funny or nice or whatever, it’s because that is what I am. The only part of my posts that is a persona is my name.

Business casual attire is our company’s policy. Basically, we have to dress that way during the day, but after hours or week-ends we can come in casual. We’re an IT company, but our clients are not in the same building as us, so the closest we ever get to them is a phone.

Now, for me, that means slacks and a collared shirt. Now, this is fine I guess. I’m much more comfortable in jeans but slacks are fine I guess. And that is what I wear when I’m in nights and weekends. When people step outsides the lines of acceptable wear, their managers generally pull them aside and inform them to dress better.

However, this dress code is slightly altered for the women. Now, this is the age of enlightenment and I know I shouldn’t ever speak badly about the other sex. However, sometimes I’m baffled by the same business casual code for women. Or at least, it’s enforcement.

Now, being an IT company, the male to female ratio is heavily weighted towards the males. However, that doesn’t excuse letting someone wear whatever the fuck they want. Now, I’m not a prude. I have no problem with their dress style in general. I just don’t like what they get away with while the rest of us are being chastised.

Example A is my ‘documentation control administrator’. She has two types of shirts. The first is really low cut so that her breasts are practically falling out. The second is a shirt that is so tight that nothing could be left to the imagination. Neither type is technically against dress code, but I would not label either of them ‘business casual’. More like ‘heading out to a bar’. On top of that, her pants are equally annoying. First off, she can wear blue jeans whenever she wants, just so long as they’re really tight. That’s a major sticking point for me here. And the pants she does wear often leave her midriff exposed, and are so tight that I can tell what type of underwear she chose to wear that day from over 30 feet away.

Example B is the floor manager. She is generally more conservative than the other lady, but at the same time, much of her wardrobe seems to break our happy business casual mold. The other day, her outfit included a shirt that was so low-cut that her bra was the center point of her outfit. Once again, she can also get away with the blue jeans every other day as she desires.

As far as I can tell, the dress code here doesn’t apply if you make the manager drool as you walk by, while the rest of us get pulled aside, and spoken to if our shoes aren’t perfect enough or our pants are a touch too casual. Pointing out the discrepancy only gets a smile and a chuckle. Bah

What is the point of a business casual work place anyway? I suppose I could understand if clients came through, but they don’t. It’s just a bunch of techies locked inside 4 stories of datacenter. While we avoid the cube farm, it’s a similar atmosphere. I never bought into the ‘clothing makes you work more professionally’ concept. Especially since this place is far from professional on many scales. Seems like proof that is doesn't. I dunno. I just don’t get any of it.

What is it about people that make them think they can inspire me at work? I mean, I like my job. Kinda. Ok, it is boring and all, but it’s not too stressful or anything.

But all things considered, in any given day, there are 60-70 things I’d rather be doing than getting up at the ass crack of dawn and going to work. I would assume that this feeling would be expressed by nearly every person in any job ever.

So, why do people constantly feel the need to drop by our area and try to inspire me to better work? I mean, literally the woman from administration today came up and chatted for a while. She started out with “Everyone happy? I don’t see smiles!”

Now, those people that know me know that that kinda of happy dappy horseshit makes me want to smash her larynx in with a baseball bat. I can’t even describe how much that kind of shit pissed me of.

My boss came by and told us a very inspiring story about how hard he used to have it and compared it to how wonderful things are today. Pardon me while I throw up.

Occasionally we have these wonderful ‘team meetings’, ostensibly to train us in new products, but in reality they are used to try to sell us the corporate Vision. And if ever there was a load of bullshit in the world, it must be the thing they call a company vision. Has anyone ever read one of these things and suddenly had an epiphany “OMG, I see it all so clearly now! I must help them achieve this noble goal!”

Come on, no one buys this bullshit. Even investors look at it and roll their eyes.

Likewise, when they hire people (yes my job actually hires people to do this) to come around and talk to everyone to make sure their ‘happiness level’ is high, I feel the urge to grab a baseball bat. And yes, I shit you not; ‘happiness level’ is the exact wording he used.

What is it with people? Why on earth would that sort of thing ever inspire someone to work harder? Does this ever work on people? You want me to work harder? Tell me I did a good job. Give me a raise. Maybe put a letter of commendation in my folder. But don’t pretend like I’ll be suddenly be delighted to come to work because some overly happy psycho told me to smile more.

Tips. Gratuities.

Servers. Drivers. Barbers. Delivery boys. Bellhops. We tip lots of people. Or we’re supposed to at least.

I’m a good tipper. I’ve worked for them before and understand that some professions really require a good tip in order to survive. However, one thing has always bothered me: the expectation that I should tip. Even when I worked for them, I never assumed I'd get a tip regardless of the service level I provided.

So, when I get the check, I consider my service. Was it good, bad or just ok? As I said above, I’m a good tipper. For an average level of service for a server I’ll give them, a 20% tip. I don’t have a problem with that. For exception service, more can be expected.

In my years of dining out, I can count on one hand the number of bad dining experiences I’ve had. But they always face me with a dilemma. When you don’t tip well, the server staff will generally treat you worse and punish you the next chance they get. Everyone has heard the stories of what goes on behind the scenes. They punish you because you don’t tip them well.

What if they don’t deserve it? I mean, if my waiter sucks ass, why should he expect a tip? But if I don’t tip him well, and he gets a chance, what will he do to my food? The problem is that he expects a tip regardless of how crappy a job he does. It’s built into his wage, so he thinks it should be set in stone.

It’s just not right in my eyes. If you suck, you don’t deserve the extra tip from me. A tip is a gift, a reward for premium service. Even dulling that down to average service, if you don’t meet the bar, you’re not realty deserving of the damn thing, are you?

The best meal I ever had involved a four person server staff that was focused entirely on our needs. When a glass was half-empty, it was refilled. When bread crumbs got on the table, they were cleaned up. Plates landed in front of each person at the exact same time. The covers removed with precision. It was marvelous. I gave nearly a 40% tip on a very expensive bill. The waiter sent me a postcard within a week, thanking me and inviting me back. He (and his team) deserved it. They were rewarded with a nice gratuity.

Now, I don’t expect that when I go out to the local chain restaurant. But I do expect certain levels of performance. You don’t need to smile, but you can’t really grimace. My drinks don’t have to be fast, but if it’s empty for over half the meal, we’ve got a problem. If the order is completely wrong, something is amiss. I understand busy nights. I understand that the waiter is at the mercy of the kitchen if the food just isn’t good. I wouldn’t dream of punishing for trivial things like that.

But damn it, I don’t think a bad service person should be able to expect a tip they didn’t earn. It’s extortion by playing on the fear that they will do something to my food/ luggage/ whatever the next chance they get. On top of that, it demeans those people that actually put forth the effort to earn good tips.

Drives me up the wall that I actually have to think about that sort of thing. Fact of the matter is that tips are implied in some service jobs. Failure to tip is done at your own peril, regardless of the poor performance you received.

So, my car is filthy. This is a fact of life for me. Every so often, I get the urge to totally clean it out. But I live in an apartmenht complex with a fairly stupid, but strictly enforced rule against cleaning cars in the parking lot. That's an annoyance, but not the subject of my rant.

So, I take my car down to the local car wash. I get it washed and dryed off, and I pull over to the vacuum. All good so far. Put my quarters in and begin cleaning out french fries and other junk from under the seat. Suddenly I feel my leg is wet. So, I turn and look, and discover that one of the other washers had accidently sprayed some of his suds off in my direction by accident. Apparently the car wash supplies a foamy brush thing. This is the source of my concern.

You seem, the suds that have been washed up against my leg are a yellow viscous soap. I quickly brush them off my leg and shoe. To my annoyance, the suds have, in only a few quick seconds, stained my shoes a distasteful shade of yellow. Several wipes with my towel didn't amnage to get it off. Water and a a wet towel? Nothing.

So I go home and start in witha few other attempts to remove it. Nothing seems to work. Fine, it's not THAT big a deal. They're just running shoes after all.

However, I can't understand why they would use a product there that stains that quickly. One would presume that if it's coming out of a brush you hold, it should be assumed you'll get some on you. Why would they use something that stains? Just doesn't seem to make sense to me. Ah well. It's a silly little thing, but it annoyed me.

You ever hear the same story from several perspectives and end up with totally different primary story lines?

Take for example the following story from my workplace. One of our clients has been very unhappy with us recently. They thought we were incompetent. The reason they believed that was caused by a massive communication barrier. Namely, we’re not allowed to talk to them directly. Instead we have to communicate to them through the account service team. This team isn’t very bright, and blames my group for many of their failings. So anyway, recently we’ve finally managed to finagle our way into directly contacting the client. And soon there after, our relations have improved and the client likes us again.

So, that’s the background for our little story. Today, this client sent a bunch of top level technical and management to inspect our site and get a proposal for future improvements. So, here are the perspectives:

My boss and my director (his boss) came out and told me that the presentation went great. The clients were really impressed with our development team, the qualifications of the analyst team, and the engineering staff, as well as our communication and procedural efforts to please them.

The development team comes out and tells us that they single-handedly saved this client by giving them a proposal that perfectly fit their needs. They said the client was so impressed with the development direction, they decided right then to retain our services.

The engineers came out and said that the client said that they were really impressed with what they saw from our engineering teams now that the Account Service Team wasn’t in the way. The engineers claim this really improved the client’s perspective of our service.

The analysts said that the extra work they had done to target this client had finally paid off dividends. They were pleased with the analysts’ response times, and information gathered.

Four perspectives, all claiming victory. Which I suppose is all that matters in the end, but I find it amusing that each version make themselves to be the hero.

Just amusing I suppose.

The roads around here suck.

This is not news, nor would I imagine that there are many places where this would not be true. But recently, I think people have been going out of their way to make things worse.. And for once, it’s the not the drivers that seem to be the problem. The department of transportation is the guilty party here.

First off, their civil engineers or architects or designers or whatever the fuck you call them are on drugs. Not a little pot on the side either. Hardcore, sunken eyeball, needle can’t go in the arm anymore because the vein collapsed, mind evaporated drug users. No one else could dream this shit up. The most amazing part is the entire department must be on the same addiction plan. Because someone dreams up the really bad idea, someone else agrees with them, more people all sign off on the idea and a group of people actually work together to make the steaming pile of an idea come to life.

It’s tragic. They make parking lots with 8 entrances, but only one exit. They decide to build an overpass that just dumps you right back where you were before you got on it. They install lights that only serve to stop already slow traffic. They approve million dollar projects to slightly alter the color of warning signs from yellow to slightly brighter yellow. They think that 4 lane circles are somehow an improvement over intersections. Or that jug handles somehow improve a driver’s day because they don’t have to turn left.

What else? Try this on for size. One of the roads near where I work is a long uphill asphalt road with one lane in each direction. It’s 35mph most of the way and 45mph the rest. Now, I drive this daily, and the road had a few very minor bumps in it. No big deal. About a year ago, they decided it needed some improvement work. Fine, I can deal with that; what are they planning? Well, I don’t know. I honestly don’t. They came along and for 4 weeks, they cut out sections of road and filled them in with concrete. Now, these sections of road do not go all the way across the road. They are about ¾ of a lane across, and are uniformly placed in the road. Some in the middle, some on the right, some on the left. There are in both lanes. I watched them work. All they did was take the asphalt out, dig down six inches and then pour concrete. But, they didn’t do that very well, so the concrete isn’t the same height as the road. So, there are hundreds and hundreds of concrete bumps in the road where before, there was relatively smooth asphalt.

But, they one upped me this week. They decided to do MORE construction on this once ideal road. I still haven’t figured out what they’re doing, but I know the close the one lane of the road at 7am and reopen it at 10. Then they close the other lane at noon and reopen it at 2. Then it’s back to the first lane at 4 and finish up around 7. This is otherwise known as hitting every major rush hour for this road. I can’t even begin to fathom that schedule on a fairly busy road. So, now, hour-plus long backups are becoming a common occurrence on my way to work.

What are they doing? Damned if I can tell. Looks like they’re cutting more concrete notches in the road. But this time instead of parallel to the road, they are at a 45 degree diagonal. I have no idea.

But I really wish they’d stop.

"Can I take your order?"
"I would like a number 3 combo meal, please"
"For here or to go?"
"Here"
"Would you like to mega-gigantic-colossal size it for three times the grease?"
"No"

Such a simple interaction. It's not hard to do.

It's really not. I go to the fast food joint, I place an order for a combo meal. Sandwich, fries, and a drink. You make a thousand of them a day. So, when I ask for one, it shouldn't come as a shock. It also shouldn't involve a sigh and an eye roll. Further, it shouldn't take you five minutes of peering at your register to find the appropriate button to press. All the combos are grouped together, it's not like they're hiding. I'm sure they've even got pictures on the menu now so you don't even have to read.

Lets take a deeper look at this particular case. This combo meal costs $4.84 or something. I hand you a ten. You press the button for a $10 bill, and the drawer opens. What to do, what to do? Well, the change machine is ahead of you. It’s already spit out my 16 cents into the cup. So, you don’t have to count the change out. You just have to grab $5 out of the cash drawer. You don’t have to do the very complicated math in your head because it’s displayed on your register, conveniently so both you and I can see it. So, naturally I’m confused when this takes 2 people. You and the lady next to you peering into your drawer like it was the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen. I’m dumbfounded. After careful consideration, you two put your collective IQ together, have a brief discussion about what to do, and decide to hand me a five dollar bill. Impressive, I suppose.

On top of all that, it should take less than 10 minutes for you to procure said items. Why did it take you 4 minutes to grab my fries? They were already cooked. Grab the scoop, use it to fill a box with starchy goodness, bring the box to me. What happened to confuse you when you went over to grab my sandwich out of the bin. You gave them plenty of time to make it while you pondered the complexities of a five dollar bill. So, why did you pause and stare at it for 3 minutes like it had grown wings? Filling a fry box with fries from the warming bin takes at most 45 seconds. Grabbing the pre-made sandwich can’t take 15 second to complete. Total time less than a minute, right? Fast food, right? Then, simply place them on the tray. Yes the tray. When you asked "For here or to go", I said "Here". I said it clearly, and with a smile. Why do you have a bag? Think hard. On second thought, I don't want to overly stress you out. Just give me the fucking bag.

Sure, I understand it’s a crappy job, but hey, everyone has to work a crappy job at some point in their life. I’ve been there. I did the fast food bit for over a year. It sucked, but that doesn’t mean you get to be incompetent at it. It’s amazingly simple to do. The only complicated part of the job I the meal rushes, and let’s be honest, at 9:30 at night, it’s not that much of a hassle to take care of one guy in the lobby.

But, returning to the attitude problem, why do you eye roll when I come up to the counter? Is it REALLY that much of a hassle to actually do your job? I don’t like my job now, but I do it. I hated fast food back when I did it, but you make the best of it. Maybe you just had a bad day or something, but when a customer comes up and smiles friendly at you, and makes his request as simple and painless as possible… you should at least try to act like it’s not the most agonizingly painful thing you’ve ever had to do. Because, let me tell you, I’m a creative mother fucker. If you like, I am more than willing to demonstrate what a really annoying customer can be like. After about the tenth or twelfth time I brought my food back and demanded to talk to your manager, I’m sure your evening could be worse. So, buck up and do your fucking job, especially when it’s an otherwise simplistic request.

Fin

Why on earth would parents name thier children such OBVIOUSLY bad names?

I just got of the phone with a Harry Ballski, pronounced just like it looks. I had to check out to spell his name in the employee database because I swore I must have heard him wrong. Who would do that to thier child.

I mean... Moon Unit Zappa is one thing. Hippy inspired names are silly, but ok. But I can't even IMAGINE the hell this man went through as a child.

What are they thinking? That somehow he'll look back fondly on his parents and laugh? I'd consider parenticide, and if I did manage to get through it without killing them, I'd change my name the day I turned 18.

A quick search of google finds lists of equally bad names. Mi Hardin. Tara Himen. Rod Holder. Jack Goff. Assuming they're real (and the website I just grabbed those off of had links to public records) what the hell? Who could hate thier child that much? What sadoistic parents looks at their little bundle of joy and says "I'm going to make you a joke to everyone you meet".

Do people really hate thier children that much?

In the past two weeks, I've heard about a dozen people telling me that PC games are dying. They love to point out how many more console games are made, and how much better the new consoles will be than anything that has ever existed before, and how much simpler life is with a controller. Then they point out in intricate detail how complicated and difficult PCs are to use.

To these people I say this: Fuck off already.

There are lots of reasons I don't think PC gaming is dying. I admit it's going through some slow growth right now, and I admit that consoles sell better. These are things that can be safely assumed, and can probably be proven if you're bored enough. However, this does not lead one to the conclusion that PC games are on their deathbed, or even walking toward it.

People like support this claim with the fact that more games are made for them; thus it signifies a shift in gaming. But, despite massive growth in console games, there is only a minor downward shift in PC games. This signifies that most of the console gamers are new gamers, not converted gamers.

As for the PC versus console debate, I've seen some really stupid discussions on that. I've heard people claim that PS2/XBOX preformed better than any available PC at the time of release. I've heard people claim that controllers offer better control than a mouse keyboard. And I've heard people say that PCs are better in every category.

Beyond the fact those are opinions, they don't dramatically mean anything about the life and death of a type of gaming. The fact of the matter is that consoles have certain genre's they just do better. Mortal Combat style games never took off in the PC world. Sports games have a larger following in the console market as well. RTS and FPS games are largely a PC dominated market. Niches are carved out for a reason.

Like I said, if you want to talk to someone about the death of PC games, tell someone else. I'll be over in the corner loading up Unreal.

Anyone else have internet filters at work? Most people do. Nice little programs that prevent people from downloading warez or porn at work. Totally understandable and acceptable filters. Yeah, we have those. Company of twenty thousand people, that sort of thing is totally understandable, because there will always be that guy that trys to do bad stuff at work.

However, someone nutjob last week decided that standard filters were not enough. We had to have MORE MORE MORE!!!!! So they turned on filters that block a lot of your daily readings. E-comics, blogs (but not this one!!!), forums, joke sites. The things that everyone hops onto for a few minutes everyday after lunch or whatever. And I was not happy. My twelve hour day consists of 2 hours of work spaced out over the entire day. That mean's I've got 10 hours to fill. My boss knows, and understands. Even encourages us to seek out diversions to keep us doing something instead of falling asleep being bored.

But, that was not enough either. Still more must be filtered. More must be blocked! They must stop people from using the internet for nonwork purposes!!! So, more sites have been added. And this.. this is where my problem comes in. They've gone to far. Now they're not only blocking stuff like ebaumsworld, they're blocking half the freaking internet. Zdnet.com... gone. MSNBC... blocked. Tom's hardware.. zapped. Amazon.com... off. Redhat.. closed source now. The list goes on. And on.

I don't get it. I understand the simple stuff. You don't want people going places they shouldn't be. But damn it, I work for a computer company. We specialize in computer services. Occasionally, zdnet or toms has useful information about a part or technology. Sometimes amazon has a tech book that we want to add to our library. And half of our devices run on one form of linux or another. I can make legitimate business cases for these things.

So, I talked to my manager, and together we call up and ask 'WTF?' The reply? "That sort of thing will be settled on a case to case single use basis." Isn't that some happy horseshit? I mean, damn people. Loosen the hell up. There can't be that many people chunking off hours on some of these sites. So now, if I want the new O'Reilly book, I gotta call up and get them to allow me a 1 hour access to amazon. If I have a problem with a redhat device, I have to rely on other sites of information, or call them and go through the paperwork each and every time.

This ranks up there with the single most asinine managerial decision it's been my displeasure to be a part of.