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Probably not the story you think it's going to be but I promise you it's all true...

The Kinanes and 81 others found themselves floating downstream on the Ohio River during the dinner rush [at the Waterfront restaurant] Friday night when the restaurant broke from its moorings. All had to be rescued one by one with a makeshift gangplank of ladders and ropes after the boat came to rest against a bridge about 100 feet downriver.[..]

Officials said the hours-long rescue was orderly and calm. Women were rescued first, then the men. One patron would climb down the gangplank wearing a life jacket, which would then be sent back up for the next person. Kathy Kinane said she had to take off her heels to make her way down. Among those rescued was former Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Cris Collinsworth, Covington fire Capt. Chris Kiely said.[..]

The barge started moving when a main cable came loose, leaving the remaining cables to handle more pressure than they could withstand, said Covington Fire Chief Chuck Norris.

I can only imagine the number of jokes poor Chuck must be subjected to. Of course what I really want to know is: does he know Kung Fu?

Taking a humor break from the disaster in Japan. Still wishing them all the luck in the world.