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Hilarity. Microsoft wants the U.S. Government to break up Google because their search engine is better. Funny as heck given how adamantly Microsoft fought when on the other side of the monopoly board.

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- Microsoft began the new year harping on a favorite theme: The software maker is arguing that government regulators need to crack down on Google to preserve fair competition in the Internet and smartphone markets.[..]

Microsoft fears Google, perhaps its biggest nemesis, will emerge from the antitrust probes without being required to make significant changes.[..]

Microsoft Corp. wrangled with antitrust regulators for much of the 1990s in legal battles that focused on whether it was using its pervasive Windows operating system to squelch other software alternatives.

I give them credit for trying, but it's farcical. Microsoft, the former 400lb gorilla has found itself aged and withering against newer, younger, less angry companies. It's old arch nemesis, Apple, has risen from the ashes and worse! Insult to injury, Apple has flourished in an area that Microsoft didn't: smart phones and tablets. Owch.

But that wasn't all, Microsoft also lagged behind in a critical area, directory services. While Big Bad MS spent all it's time worrying about crushing the opposition in computer OS they missed the main purpose of why people wanted computers: to connect to the Internet. Now, of course, the former heavyweight wants the government to put chains on the competitor because, well, because MS just can't compete.

Microsoft thought it could show up late to the party and still win, because they own the platform. But the platform changed and suddenly Gatesville was caught with their pants down. I'm sorry you didn't just bet on the wrong pony, you didn't even have a horse in the running.

Boo hoo. But life is tough. Learn a lesson? Or whine to the teacher? Maybe if they actually listened to user feedback they wouldn't build flops like Vista or (gag, choke) Windows 8. Sorry, the world doesn't work that way.

Survival of the fittest bitches, too bad you got so fat you forgot to stay in shape.