Rou

What is it about people that make them think they can inspire me at work? I mean, I like my job. Kinda. Ok, it is boring and all, but it’s not too stressful or anything.

But all things considered, in any given day, there are 60-70 things I’d rather be doing than getting up at the ass crack of dawn and going to work. I would assume that this feeling would be expressed by nearly every person in any job ever.

So, why do people constantly feel the need to drop by our area and try to inspire me to better work? I mean, literally the woman from administration today came up and chatted for a while. She started out with “Everyone happy? I don’t see smiles!”

Now, those people that know me know that that kinda of happy dappy horseshit makes me want to smash her larynx in with a baseball bat. I can’t even describe how much that kind of shit pissed me of.

My boss came by and told us a very inspiring story about how hard he used to have it and compared it to how wonderful things are today. Pardon me while I throw up.

Occasionally we have these wonderful ‘team meetings’, ostensibly to train us in new products, but in reality they are used to try to sell us the corporate Vision. And if ever there was a load of bullshit in the world, it must be the thing they call a company vision. Has anyone ever read one of these things and suddenly had an epiphany “OMG, I see it all so clearly now! I must help them achieve this noble goal!”

Come on, no one buys this bullshit. Even investors look at it and roll their eyes.

Likewise, when they hire people (yes my job actually hires people to do this) to come around and talk to everyone to make sure their ‘happiness level’ is high, I feel the urge to grab a baseball bat. And yes, I shit you not; ‘happiness level’ is the exact wording he used.

What is it with people? Why on earth would that sort of thing ever inspire someone to work harder? Does this ever work on people? You want me to work harder? Tell me I did a good job. Give me a raise. Maybe put a letter of commendation in my folder. But don’t pretend like I’ll be suddenly be delighted to come to work because some overly happy psycho told me to smile more.