u235

The flight was already late, two hours, half oh which was spent on the tarmac. I was in the second to last row. Granny and her toddler grandson were in the final row behind me. Granny was sick,as was Sonny, both hacking up from time to time in a nice, familial same-family, same-germs kinda way. I aimed my overhead air jet straight back, imagining in my head a protective curtain of air holding the germs at bay. After a few minutes Granny complained of being cold. That made smile.

Sonny was all over the map, on the seat, under it, on the tray table. I hoped once the flight took off he'd calm down. Sadly no. Once the drink service I hoped for that to put a damper on his frenzy of activity. Again, sadly not. At one point Sonny was actually jumping on the tray table, hands clamped to my headrest. I reclined the seat as far as it could go and heard "whoa look out" from Granny. That made me smile.

Two hours of this shit, several dirty looks and an angry rapping of my pen over the window did little to reduce the obnoxious behavior. A late flight, totally full, hot, cramped, and with a human tazmanian devil unleashed behind me, I was ready to kill. The woman next to me was just as fit to be tied. We couldn't get off the plane soon enough.

In the past I have let older people or those with kids ahead of me. In this case I didn't dare or I would have punted Sonny off the jet bridge, face first into the reinforced gate. Yep it was gonna be a good trip.