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I don't know what to call them, insecure? Desperate for attention? Just plain assholes who want to annoy you? They're the people who, when there's miles and miles of open sand to choose from, come and set up their camp less than two feet away.

It's about 4pm on a windy, overcast day. A few strong souls are hopping in and out of the surf for the fun of it, the rest are just hugging the still-warm sand and enjoying the peace and relaxation. While most are getting ready, somewhat reluctantly, to pack it in, there are a few newcomers trickling in.

I'm a beach snoozer. With all good intentions I bring books and a ball, maybe even some work with me but inevitably I just wind up dozing to the rhythmic crash of the surf. And that's where I was when Emilio (don't know his real name, but this will do) showed up. Dragging his heavily laden beach chair he dumped it down about three feet away.

Frowning I looked up at my companion. They frowned back. We both looked over pointedly. A quick scan to the right and left confirmed that, indeed, there was at least thirty feet of unblemished, unoccupied sand to either side of us.

Apparently pleased with the fact that he had our attention, "Emilio" proceeds to take off his shirt and then unpack his beach umbrella. With the generous moves of a conductor climaxing Wagner's Ring Cycle, he starts to embed the spear-ended section of the umbrella. A repressed exhibitionist I'm guessing, but his methods are somewhat lacking in their entertainment value.

Did I neglect to mention that it was overcast?

I put my head back down, a clear message of "I'm ignoring you." Emilio seems depressed, his umbrella languishes, unopened, like a guard at Buckingham Palace. He struts about a bit more... until his companion shows up. "I'm going in the water," he says brusquely, and then meanders off. She huddles under her towels in her matching beach chair in response. Yep, clearly one passionate romance going on there.

We took our time, I finished my dozing, my friend their book, refusing to be perturbed by the asshole nearby. Sometimes the key to retaining your sanity is having the ability to just shrug and tune out the rest of the world. I wish they gave recognition for that, because no question, I'd be a four-star champion at it.