World of Suck

It's only a matter of time before the Girl Scouts lose their signature snack: the Girl Scout Cookie. It's sweet! Therefore it must be evil! Ban it, ban it, ban it! School chillin' could gets fat!

Wow but people are fucking retarded.

Back in the 80's schools sold just about anything. I remember a vending machine in the locker room that sold brownies, twinkies and little cakes. When I found out the brownies gave me a massive sugar boost right before running my ass off I got hooked.

I was also skinny then. And so was everyone else around me. Take a look at people in the 80's and 70's and 60's and so on. People are freakishly thin by today's standards and they had access to all the sugar, caffeine and nicotine you could imagine. But they were thin. So what the fuck happened?

The Boomers happened. Spoiled fuckers whose only purpose in life is themselves, they've abandoned the idea of actually parenting their offspring because it takes work. And because it means they need to focus outside of their shallow crater of self-interest. Instead of telling your kid what they can and can't eat and enforcing it, they want society, the schools, and television to convey the message. Instead of cooking meals and preparing food for their families they want to buy pre-packaged crap that takes no time and no effort to prepare.

It's a fascinating double standard. The result of a pampered, self-centric childhood, these adults have never actually matured. Nor have they taken responsibility for anything they've instigated. The worst part is this self-perpetuating, me-first, bullshit now impacts how everyone else has to live, simultaneously branded into the minds of the future generations who have no idea how to cook, restrain their intake or manage kids of their own.

We're all fucked. And I won't even be able to have a decent cookie with my god damned drink when I'm old.

There's a difference between the first world and the third world. In the first world we work things out with 'civility' which means to talk, to dialog, to discuss and not to fucking behead someone when you disagree.

In the third world you just kill people, preferably before they even have a chance to disagree.

In the first world we base our entire society and our copious achievements on the fact that we can reach agreements and then shake hands on them. See right there? Shaking hands. It means "Ok, you ran a hard bargain but I respect you and we now have a mutual sense of agreement." Respect. By shaking someone's hands (with or without spitting in your palm first) you convey the fact that you're equals and you promise to adhere to the deal or forfeit your integrity.

This is why I have a problem with people who won't shake hands.

STOCKHOLM (AP) -- Sweden's unemployment agency has been found guilty of discrimination for expelling a Muslim man from a job training program because he refused to shake hands with a woman.

An immigrant from Bosnia who wants a job should not be given one if he can't assimilate into the society he's trying to get into. He's not ready. If he can't shake a woman's hand then he can't see her as an equal. His religion (or adherence to it's antiquated principles) makes him ineligible. Basically the fucker isn't sufficiently evolved to enable him to participate fully in Swedish society. So why the fuck did their judiciary rule in his favor?

Citing his faith, the man had refused to shake hands with a woman when he was interviewing for an internship. The agency said his behavior was part of the reason he didn't get the position, and decided to exclude him from the program.

Ok so your faith is more important to you than the job. That's the bottom line. Then frankly you doesn't belong in Sweden. If I were that woman there's no way I'd consider hiring someone who wouldn't shake hands with me. That would be downright retarded. Fitting in is part of passing the test for a new job. Sorry that's how it goes. Ship him back to Bosnia for a decade, see if that makes an impression.

Here's hoping that Sweden realizes their mistake. If not, it's more than their culture at stake, it's their own safety.

Who is Kristin Davis?

There was a Kristin Davis who played Charlotte on Sex in the City fame, but it's not her. This Kristin Davis might be famous for sex in the city, just not the HBO original series. Another clue? She is a former NYC business woman and Ashley Dupre's former boss. Kristin Davis sent Ms. Dupre to Washington D.C. at the behest of Client #9. She is the madam who ran perhaps the most successful escort services (yes, plural) ever and brought down the great and sanctimonious Elliot Spitzer.

Kristin Davis wants Client #9's former job as the Governor of the State of New York. She has some impressive items on her resume that make her a fine candidate. She has the brains for the job - she claims to have been valedictorian of her high school class. She knows how to handle money - she has allegedly has a BA in Business, worked in finance and ran a very successful (albeit an illegal in our prudish system) business. She's a people person - she did provide entertainment to the wealthy, powerful and famous. Furthermore, Rodger Stone, a political adviser to many successful elected officials, thinks she'd make a good candidate (and Mr. Stone says that it is not a hoax). Also consider there will be no shocking surprises because Ms. David's skeleton's have been laid out seductively on the bed and the closet door is wide open showing all her sexy lingerie. However, I think she probably keeps the keys to a few other people's closets and the skeletons will continue to be well hidden as long as they play nice. For many movers and shakers I imagine she is at once a titillating and frightening prospect for elected office.

If she succeeds she would make history as New York's first woman governor. Her interesting choice of former career doesn't bother me; if a former pro wrestler, Jesse Ventura, can do it, why not a former madam? Furthermore, it would be poetic and ironic. Herr Spitzer and Ms. Davis - He got off (in more than one way), she did three months in jail. She's done her time and paid her debt to society. He resigned in disgrace, thumbed his nose at the justice system and figures all is forgiven (he allegedly briefly considered running for office again).

She might be good for NY. For example, consider if prostitution is legalized (which she reportedly supports) and taxed. The oldest profession will never be eradicated while men still have urges. It is a virtually untapped revenue generating commercial enterprise that typically does not pay taxes. Imagine pimps answering to the tax man (or woman). Also, legalization may minimize the victimization of women in the business.

The New York Governor race may become interesting, very interesting indeed.

Joshua Tabor was a sergeant with the US Army. Served in Iraq. He was arrested a few days ago. What for? Well, his daughter, four years old, was having some trouble remembering the alphabet, after 3 hours of practicing. So he punished her. Over the top, but I suppose inside the parental guidelines. A little time out, or take away TV time or something, right?

Sadly, no.

He water boarded her.

You read that right. This little maggot water boarded his own four year old daughter for being bad at the alphabet. Honestly, I don't know where to go with this. It's reprehensible. People like him really kick my faith in humanity in the balls.

You were had a gift. A beautiful wonderful life that was all yours to watch grow up. And you fucking tortured it like a kid with a magnifying glass. Fuck you.

Joshua... please, die in a fire at your earliest possible convenience. Try to go slow. Don't want you to pass out from asphyxiation before the flames actually start in on your flesh. Wanna make sure you really get a sense of the full scope and horror of the event before you walk off this mortal coil. Don't worry. I won't piss on you to put it out.

Oh Sarah... will you ever stop being hilarious?

Mrs. Palin's doing a speaking tour. She just did one that netted her $100K. That's some serious money right there. Her topic: the top 3 prioritys for the GOP to win back congress.

She um... needed some help.  3 priorities for the GOP. They were very complicated: Energy, Tax Cuts, Lift American Spirits. Seriously, no one could ever remember something like that.

So she took a sharpie and wrote them on the palm of her hand.

That's fine I suppose, but if you do that, don't gesture with hands outstretched so that some photographer can snap a pick of your cheat sheet. I mean, as a speaker, it's ok if you take a note card up there. No one will mock you for that. Writing on your hand is... tacky. And yeah, we're going to mock you.

Seriously, she got paid a hundred grand for that. If we hadn't been so recently exposed to the horrors of Bush, she'd be one of the worst public speakers ever. I swear, that lipstick on a pig comment was prophetic.

19 kids. All with names that start with 'J'. Please won't someone give the lady a hysterectomy and the husband a snip-job? You fuckers are single handedly overpopulating the world! And you're not smart, pretty or intelligent. THE HUMAN RACE DOES NOT NEED YOUR GENES.

Stupid, selfish, fuck heads.

Saw the whole FOF ad with the Tebows. Damn but his mom is one tired looking bitch. Hell if she's gonna look like that she can stump for Pro-Life any day of the week, even in my neighborhood. I'd hold a big sign over her head: "Have some babies and look like me! (Big Arrow)"

No wonder Tim puts the hit on her. I'd wanna get her off camera too.

Buried with the superbowl ad commercials, I mis-clicked and found this... Work safe? Yah, no.

There have always been those that depart from the beaten path in terms of design. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish "art" from the "practical" because good design can encompass both. But when selling furniture it's wise to remember an adage I just made up "If my butt says ouch then my wallet stays closed." Note there's a caveat to that which involves seating designed exclusively for in-laws but let's leave that one aside for now.

Exhibit A:

That right there has airport written all over it. Chicago, Las Vegas, Newark...

Exhibit B:

Might as well just sit on the pointy parts to begin with if you ask me.

Now there's the other extreme... Squishiness to the point of falling over and never getting up again. Call them Granny-traps:

Exhibit C:

Under NO circumstances should you ever even consider leaning over in this with a drink in your hand. You've been warned.

Finally in the "WTF" class we have these beauts:
D:E:
F:G:

Haven't had enough? Visit the online e-store called Hive and check them all out. Believe me this is just the tip of the iceberg (which, I imagine, is far more comfortable to sit on than some of these so called chairs...)

Yep it's that time again, more than basketball, more than hockey, even more than baseball it's that super-special event of the year... it's superfootball time! When everyone is a fan, even if they're dead or comatose.

I love the pictures of the fans, mostly because it reassures me about my own appearance. That's a good thing, because just like the oh-so-adorable, mushy face of the bulldog, these are jowls of joy, receding hairlines of happiness and tubby tummies of (potentially) triumph. Nothing makes me feel better than real people enjoying themselves, caught up for the moment not in all the woe that we're swimming in these days, but in a game.

So here's a salute to all the ugly, homely, happy football fans in black, blue, gold and white out there today. Regardless of who wins I hope you have a grand old time.

'Cause remember, tomorrow's Monday and there's plenty of time to lament then. Just remember to leave the lame suit at home ok?
(pic cred: Boston Herald)

The supermarket was jammed with last minute super-bowl party shoppers. Clearly some were there just for themselves or a small party (store-roasted chicken, one small bag of chips, cheerios, and one tiny bottle of soda.) Others were there preparing for the feast (at the Deli counter a woman was rattling down a list of cold cuts like a Sargent at Arms calling a drill). Busy, busy, busy everything was a-bustle. Stockers were stocking, shoppers were shopping and even the kids seemed to be aware that something was up, keeping to the sides of the aisle and only whining a little when Dad whisked by the cookies of their choice down towards the more manly cracker section.

For my part I got some of the prerequisites: port-wine cheese ball, pound of store potato salad, crackers, a little tub of fresh spinach dip. Then I did the shop for the week, preparing to feed the ravenous masses for the next six to seven days: bread, meat, veg, yogurt, juice, milk and the like.

Finally stocked I trundled up to the russian-roulette game of "guess which register isn't being manned by Droopy Dog today." I picked a line with only two people on it. However I noticed that tucked between my choice and the next line to the right was an unmanned cart. It seemed pretty full but there was no one within a few feet of it and it clearly wasn't in a line, it was between them, nose first. For a moment I pondered if this was a load of restocks for some poor kid working the aisles, but then there was a coat crammed at the bottom of the cart, so eh, dunno, I got in line.

Two ladies exchanged words, looking in my direction. They seemed to wonder (since my line was shorter) if there was room for them. By that time the lady in front of me had loaded all her groceries onto the belt and it was time for me to get into position.

Then the cart owner showed up.

A long-faced man, probably in his late fiftes, complete with cowboy hat (How's it goin' Pardner?), gold framed glasses and cardigan. Cardigan? In turquoise? Whatever. I guess he'd parked (er - corralled) his cart and went to get something he'd forgotten, and in that time I'd gotten in line and was already transferring stuff into a neat compact pile at the register. Clearly he was irked, but just as clearly I didn't give a flying fuck. Glare after glare was directed at me, I wondered if his glasses would melt. The only regret I had was that he actually didn't say anything.

"Hey, you cut in front of me!"
"Really? Gosh, so sorry, why didn't you say something then? Oh yeah, maybe because YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

Cheerfully I'd laugh and go on my way. Sorry buddy, you could be the king of the county for all I know, but if you're not near your cart when I get in line then it's just tough shit for you.

Nurses barely garner any respect in their field, not because they don't do most of the work of keeping patients well in a hospital, but because they're not the diva doctors who "officially" treat patients.

First of all I need to lambaste doctors. I suppose once you're charged with the life of a patient it goes to your head. But mostly that's because they only step in during moments when intervention is demanded. Most doctors, yes over 90% of those I've had to deal with, like to tell me - the patient - what's really wrong without very much input. They make snap decisions and kick me out, making their money via assembly line processing and not paying much attention to the actual results of their treatments until the next time I return. Five seconds of fame as it were. Nurses, on the other hand, have to deal with a patient longer, they tend to look at the whole person and ask all the important questions that provide insight to develop the long term cure, rather than the immediate quick fix. Simply put without nurses the entire system would collapse rapidly. And yet they get no credit, they have long hours and they get shit on literally and figuratively.

Doctors, on the other hand, see themselves as the hand of God. The problem comes when the law seems them the same way. Case in point: Nurse writes an anonymous letter reporting a doctor. The doctor complains to his buddy the sheriff and the sheriff? He goes and arrests the nurse and has her put on trial for doing the right thing.

It was not long after the public hospital hired Dr. Arafiles in 2008 that the nurses said they began to worry. They sounded internal alarms but felt they were not being heeded by administrators.

Frustrated and fearing for patients, they directed the medical board to six cases “of concern” that were identified by file numbers but not by patient names. The letter also mentioned that Dr. Arafiles was sending e-mail messages to patients about an herbal supplement he sold on the side.(NYT)

It's evident that this doctor, educated in the Philippines yet practicing here, had raised alarms during his practice, so the fact that a nurse would stand up and raise yet another flag shouldn't have been a surprise. Nor the fact that a fat, Texas sheriff, after a having a heart attack, should stand up for the doctor that treated him. But what is surprising is that it has gone this far. Especially when the evidence is so extreme. The problem lies with the fat Sheriff...

But Sheriff Roberts, who has held the post for 18 years, said the state would show that the complaint had been filed in vengeance. “If it’s made to destroy somebody’s reputation or forcing them to leave town,” he said, “then I don’t believe it is good faith.”

Sheriff Roberts called Dr. Arafiles “the most sincerely caring person I have ever met.”

It's Texas law however, and the fact that he's held his position for 18 years only makes it more obvious that Robert-Robers is the type of fucktard that the movies made fun of in Boss Hogg. For him it's not about the law, or the risk to other patients, it's that a nurse had the gall to step up to the bar and ring the bell. For my part I can only hope that the wild-west isn't so far gone that they don't recognize justice when it stares them in the eye.

In a surprise inspection last September, state investigators found several violations by Dr. Arafiles and concluded that the hospital had discriminated against the nurses by firing them for “reporting in good faith.”

Sallie Mae, the college-lending giant doesn't want you to afford an education. In fact they want to make sure that even if you do manage to get that far that they get a cut of every penny you make afterwards. That's the price of higher-education, and they will fight any and every incentive to make it more affordable.

Sallie Mae, a publicly traded company that is the nation’s biggest student lender with $22 billion in loans originated last year, led the field in spending $8 million on lobbying in 2009, more than double the year before, and other lenders spent millions of dollars more (NYT)

$8 million is peanuts compared to $22 billion, but imagine, for one fraction of a second, how many college educations could have been financed with that 8 mil. The loan industry, after enjoying all the freedoms they could pillage, are desperate to stop the roiling tide of restraint that the government (and public) want to impose. And to stop it they're willing to spend eyebrow raising amounts.

Personally I'd call it bribery, and the sad fucking thing is that it works.

I'm not suggesting that the administration's plan is completely correct, but I have a hard time seeing the error of cutting out the middle-men who make a mad buck off the backs of kids who don't even have jobs yet. There should be no one between the lender and the spender imho.

The money that would be saved by cutting out the private-industry middlemen — about $80 billion over the next decade, according to a Congressional Budget Office analysis — could instead go toward expanding direct Pell Grants to students, establishing $10,000 tax credits for families with loans, and forgiving debts eventually for students who go into public service, administration officials say.

But Sallie and other industry profiteers don't want change and they are willing to spend handsomely on any side of the fence to ensure their way. With so much at stake in our future how can we afford not to educate the next generation? Learning should not come with built in indentured servitude either. But that's only logic talking and it takes an education to understand that.

600 people. Minus the freaks that is. They wouldn't let any of the freaks in.

600 is not an impressive number. Not when it comes to political or politicized movements. To me TP is more about the latter than the former, because there's no substance. People who associate themselves with this movement don't like politics really, they like stages, actors, and to hear people regurgitate what they already know the facts to be. Those same people also hate to have their ideals challenged, to think for themselves, or the notion that complaining about something doesn't actually *solve* the problem.

History has shown that people in this category are wildly electable. It has also shown that they also make poor governors. Using other people and their efforts as target practice is easy, anyone can do that. Making a plan, producing solutions and implementing is something that's hard. We've already seen the results of a government formed from smoke and mirrors, the only question is - are people really ready to suffer to bring us back to center?

I doubt it. It's only going to give us more of the same shit. So yeah, pass the TP, we're gonna need it.

The license plate on the oversized, yet brand new SUV said "10 MPG." Trust me I believed it, doing 80 miles per hour on the highway, this kid (complete with requisite baseball cap) was happily chewing through fuel with complete abandon. Shocking? No. Obscene? Yes. It's a blatant demonstration of "I'm stupid and I like it," which then resolves into "Fuck everyone else, I'm only in this world for me."

Chances are fucktard also wouldn't give a rats ass if his girlfriend got pregnant (he'd dump her), his mother's home burned down (she can go live with someone else and if they're all dead then she can put up a tent at the cemetery) or if he ran over the very last individual of an endangered species. Frankly I wish *he* was an endangered species, because me-first, me-only fuck heads are the problem everywhere (not just here).

There's a lining though, since he's probably paying at $600/month car loan it has to limit his other expenditures. Hopefully this will have an impact on his ability to get married and reproduce. Hopefully

Call it "Tykes in Yikes" apparently a clothing line fronted by Miley's little sister. Who apparently has no standards already.

I'm not even sure about the title of this, but on the other hand I'm quite certain that this quote will raise more than a few eyebrows:

You see, the good doctor was explaining how he injects a dose of human collagen about the size of a quarter into a woman’s G spot — that hotly contested holy grail of female orgasm — in order to temporarily enlarge it and make it easier to find.(NYT)

Buried within the women's fashions section of the times was an interesting article I stumbled upon, not because of the title (clearly they were as confused as I as how to label the content within), but because of the photo that came with it. Here's the article: Anterior Movtives .

So you shoot some crack-filler into a spot on a woman and she can have more fun during sex? Well you don't say. And it costs about 2k. Multiple orgasms? You don't say. The G-shot. And it has nothing to do with G-men? Wow. You don't say...